Caregivers seeking vacations: Summer camp and now Elder “Respite”

The NYtimes has a look into the lives of the caregivers– adult caretakers who aid family members…in many cases these are parents caring for kids, but increasingly we’ve seen adult kids taking care of elder parents, as illness and disability may take away a parent’s ability to live independently.

This is another example of medical conditions taking place in a social sphere, not the biochemical pathways many of our medical personnel are trained to deal with.  A good health system would look to caregiver support as one means of keeping people with families vs. getting dumped into institutions.

For many of these people, the guilt of dealing with a parent’s condition combined with the unrelenting needs of a sick adult wear them down over time, and reduce their ability to connect with family and friends. Knowing that there are options to get away for a little bit, something in between full time care and the nursing home, seems like an idea who’s time has come.

But as health professionals and the federal government have recognized the strain on these family members — including higher rates of depression, hypertension, diabetes, sleep disorder, heart disease and death — a growing number of facilities now offer short-term respite stays. In its simplest form, respite might be a home aide a few hours a week or use of an adult day care service. To caregivers at the end of their rope, real respite means a short time away — what for anyone else would be called a vacation.

Most caregivers do not take respite vacations because they see them as an admission of failure, or they worry that something will happen while they are away. A paradox of caring for an elderly relative is that the burden is so big, many feel they cannot share it.

So for all of you who are caregivers or interact with elderly patients and their caregivers, keep in mind that “respite” is an option that can refresh and restore those who are giving more than they have to their parents…and could use a few days to recharge.

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